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Energy Preservation – Know Your Boundaries

Watching a loved one suffer is heartbreaking; it’s natural to feel compelled to help. Many people believe helping someone means sharing their burdens, which can be physically, emotionally and mentally draining. I’m sharing a few of my life preserving energy tips when the need to set boundaries arises. 

 

Understand your own energetic needs

How well do you know your own energy? Do you know what situations trigger you and how to navigate them? It never hurts to make a list of all of your personal triggers and the feelings associated with them in order to set limits. If you don’t know your triggers you won’t know your limits. Anger and resentment build when we don’t understand our own energetic needs. Allow yourself the opportunity to dig into your emotions.

 

Feel your feelings

If someone triggers you, which can happen A LOT around major holidays, know that it’s necessary and normal to feel your feelings. Pushing something down or to the side only delays the inevitable blow up. If you are unable to process the emotions in the moment, be sure to set an appointment with your emotions for release at a later date. We aren’t always able to scream from the top of our lungs or journal  in the exact moment that our feelings come over us and that’s ok! I’m simply suggesting that you set aside time to feel all the feelings and then create a healthy alliance so that they next time they come around they don’t take you down.

 

Be WITH not FOR

Do you have the kind of personality that generally tries to fix everyone? STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. You can’t fix anyone. You can provide a ton of support to a person simply by being there WITH them and not doing anything FOR them. When people move their own emotions they have a much deeper understanding and respect for how to work with them the next time they come up. Sometimes simply listening and not providing feedback (unless they have requested) can be the greatest gift we give another human.

 

Give yourself permission to ask for support

In my world, there is no shame in asking for support. We all have unique talents, gifts and abilities for a reason. We’ve been brought together to help one another. We can all use a little guidance and support from someone who has more experience, more wisdom and more expertise. Seeking therapy, council and healing from a non-judgemental person is invaluable and a very brave thing to accept.  I’m also not ashamed to say that I ask for support from the Universe, Spirit and my ancestors. 

 

Practice self-care

As the saying goes, you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Try taking a bath, journaling or going for a hike to recalibrate your nervous system and nourish your soul. When triggers get you into a state of depletion it can look like sugar cravings or just plain exhaustion. Take the time you need to refill your tank. You’re worth it!

Know when to walk away

There are no hard and fast rules that say you have to keep a relationship. Know that you have the right to disengage from toxic people and situations. If a relationship is challenging and you want to set it on the right track, consider using a method such as Non-Violent Communication to state your needs and move forward. 

 

Remember, you are human. You probably will not always remember to protect your energy or to take care of yourself. We aren’t robots programmed to follow strict guidelines and rules infallibly. You will at some point find yourself in pain, in resentment and spinning out of control. The best medicine you can give yourself is forgiveness, love and patience. Dive right back into your self-care practice and stay the course.

 

If you have questions about energetic boundaries and how this relates to the well-being of your home, I’d love to set-up a free 15 min. phone consultation with you! Simply send an email to info@clutterhealing.com. 

Delegating at Home

I have a dirty little secret – I hate washing dishes! I’ll meal prep weekly to save time in the kitchen, but cleaning up almost negates that purpose! Trying to keep a clean home while balancing work and life can be a huge burden on a person. It’s time to assess – what can I delegate?

I start by evaluating what physical clutter stands between me and a productive day:

  •   How long will this take me to clean?
  •   What is my time worth?  

1. On-Demand Services

Luckily, there are hundreds of on-demand services to make life easier, from housekeeping, dog-walking, grocery and laundry delivery, to ride sharing – there’s an app for that! Does it cost money? Yes. Is it worth the investment? Absolutely. I know hiring a housekeeper saves me hours of work, physical and emotional energy, and gives me peace of mind – I’m coming home to a clean, clutter-free home!

2. Personal Assistant

Think hiring someone is out of your budget? You may be surprised at how affordable some on-demand services can be! Depending where you live, personal assistants can range from $14-18 per hour! Hiring an assistant to fold laundry, put away groceries, and run errands can actually help you make money, too. Instead of spending 5 hours a week on household chores, you can devote that time to your work – all without breaking the bank.

3. Ask Your Tribe

If outsourcing help still isn’t for you or if you live with a spouse, roommate, or children – you can still delegate!  Chore charts and schedules are not just for kids! Assigning household duties to your family or roommates will greatly reduce your workload. Live alone? Try bartering services with a friend; maybe your friend loves to cook but hates doing laundry and you’re the opposite. Either way, utilizing your family or friends can be a cost-effective way to manage your home and life.

You already do so much every day, why overextend yourself when help is so accessible? Whether you book on-demand services or delegate chores to your family, you deserve to reward and invest in yourself. If occasionally spending a few dollars means more time with family or pursuing that passion project,  it just might be the soundest investment of all.

Closet Clutter: One Piece, Three Outfits

The Effortless Closet shares how she created a more versatile and efficient wardrobe by cleaning out closet clutter.

Shirts

Guest post by Randi of The Effortless Closet.


Outfit 1

I’m so honored to be sharing a little bit of my story here. The ideas Clutter Healing focuses on of living with clarity and efficiency really resonate with me.  

I used to be overwhelmed with a closet full of clothes, but somehow I never had anything to wear. I didn’t feel comfortable or confident in the outfits I put together, so I filled the void by buying even more clothes. It was a vicious cycle that just wasn’t working for me anymore. So I started paring down my closet and that’s when I realized that less truly is more. 

 

 

I started investing in clothes that genuinelyOutfit 2 brought me happiness and letting go of the clothes that were just taking up space. Getting rid of all the excess was really key to honing in on a style that’s simple and effortless but still has an element of fun. I was able to come up with outfit formulas that made me feel like the best version of myself and made getting dressed simpler. I also came up with a general color palette that made it easy to mix and match everything in my wardrobe.

 

 

Outfit 3

I now own around 50 items of clothing, compared to the hundreds I used to own.  My closet is cohesive enough that it’s easy to grab a few pieces and create a great outfit in a matter of minutes, but it’s also versatile enough that I don’t get bored. 

 

 

 

Shoes

I never really realized how detrimental all the excess STUFF in my life could be until I started whittling down my wardrobe. Once I started to let go of the clothes I didn’t absolutely love, I realized that this idea of simplicity and efficiency could be applied to other areas of my life too – makeup, kids clothes and toys, home decor, cookware, everything. It’s amazing how my whole life changed for the better when I decided to get rid of all the clutter. 

 

For more on Randi, visit @theeffortlesscloset on Instagram!

Randi, The Effortless Closet

 

 

spring succulent with feet

Making Space for What Really Matters

When it comes to identifying the things holding us back from being the best possible versions of ourselves, everyone’s process is different; but one thing is almost always the same – clutter. Having a lot of clutter means you’re not making space for what really matters, you’re not leaving any room for yourself to move or grow – all the available space is already occupied. There is a literal, physical clutter between you and your dreams.

Perhaps you never bought into the whole “feng shui” movement, but it’s pretty hard to deny that a well-structured, organized space allows energy to flow better than a closed off, cluttered room. There are far less distractions in a clutter-free space. Messy environments remind you of undone tasks or distract you from your passion projects. The same notion applies to your psyche.

Here are three simple steps you can take to evaluate your physical and emotional space and make way for the things that matter most.

Step 1: Set your intention

It might sound like you’re in yoga class, but seriously, how can you make progress without knowing exactly what it is that you want?  The more specific you can be, the better.   Goals that are too broad make it easier to settle with mediocre results.

Step 2: Evaluate your time and energy

Where are your priorities now?  Where do they need to be in order for you to reach your goals?  What is standing in the way?  We find that it’s easiest to make well-structured lists and place them somewhere they will be seen everyday. Remind yourself constantly what exactly you are working toward and how to get there.

Step 3: Edit your things

This part can be challenging, but it’s so important: go through your home, office, or storage spaces and get. stuff. out. If it’s not contributing to the things that matter most then get rid of it. Don’t get sidetracked by the infamous “someday” pile, the things you’ve been holding onto because of “what-if” and “someday I’m going to…”  How long have those things been cluttering your home and mind?  It’s time to move forward, free from the weight of “someday.”  You’ll be amazed how much lighter you’ll feel once you let those things go. Allow yourself to move into the future unencumbered by the past.

The most important thing is giving yourself the opportunity to succeed. By taking these three steps, you’re opening the door to a life that’s abundant in all things that matter most. With a greater awareness of the obstacles that accumulate in your path and how to knock them out of the way – the rest is up to you to. It’s up to you to follow your heart and clear a pathway to your dreams. 

goal setting

Four Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Get Into Action

Procrastinating: we all do it. I know getting the ball rolling on any organizing project can be hard. You look at a gorgeous closet or pantry on Instagram and say, “Yes, that’s exactly what I want my house to look like!” Yet your reality is far from the image staring back at you. So how do we get from where we are, usually some state of panic, anxiety or overwhelm, to a picture perfect daily existence? I’ve come up with a four step process to help you get going even when it feels impossible.

1. Begin with the end in mind

Knowing what you want is the key to fulfilling any goal. Create a very clear vision for each of the spaces you want to organize BEFORE you do anything. If you don’t know HOW you want each of your rooms to function, you will go down an very disappointing path. It’s kind of like going to a lender for a business loan without a business plan. You can’t walk into the bank and ask for a loan without explaining in great detail what it is that you plan to do with the money. Do the same for yourself and your home. How do you want your spaces to feel? What kinds of activities do you plan to do in each space? What supplies will live in each room?

It’s too vague to say, “I want my house to be organized.” That’s not enough information to create a plan. If you believe in the spiritual side of things like I do, The Universe likes specificity. In order to have your wishes granted, try to be as detailed as possible while writing down your desires. Make a vision board. Make a Pinterest board. Get creative with your roadmap. Designating the functions and feel for each space will make a world of difference when deciding what comes in and what goes out of your home.

2. Let go of perfectionism—stop procrastinating

Most of us look at the pretty pictures on Pinterest and Instagram and have no clue the amount of work and maintenance that goes into those spaces. And let’s be honest, most of the images you’re drooling over are staged and are 100% NOT how real people live. Even my pantry doesn’t look like the ones I post on my page (truth bomb).

The truth of the matter is, we will spend more time in our head trying to work out how to get something done instead of just doing the damn thing already. Why do we do this? We usually fear doing it wrong so we simply don’t start. Sound familiar? I hear it time and time again, “I just don’t know where to begin. It’s so overwhelming.”

Get out of your head and get into action. I love to do breathwork meditation with my clients for this exact reason! It’s a very physiological meditation practice that helps us to feel instead of staying stuck in ruminating thoughts that often paralyze us. If you have a regular exercise routine, I suggest doing that prior to starting an organizing project that feels daunting. Take a brisk walk, go for a run, dance it out, breathe, do whatever you need to do to get in your body and out of your head then jump in!

3. Start with something simple

If you commit and follow through with something relatively painless, you may find that your momentum will naturally build. Let’s say you clean out your sock drawer (don’t forget about all the lonely socks hanging out in your laundry room or behind the dryer). I’m guessing you’re gonna want to go through the underwear drawer next and then your t-shirts and so on. Humans enjoy the feeling of completion. Start with a doable task and build-up to the ones that feel more challenging.

4. “Bookend” your commitments with a supportive friend or loved one

Stating your commitment out loud and being accountable for it makes you way more likely to actually do what you said you were going to do. I learned about “bookending” my commitments when I was a member of Overeaters Anonymous. It was a really supportive way for me be a woman of my word on a much deeper level. If I told a fellow that I was going to have a certain meal, I committed to it and once I was started eating I checked in with her. Once I was finished, I let her know. It felt really good to have followed through with my commitment and be held in high esteem. By consistently following through and sticking to my word, I built up my self confidence and strengthened a set of muscles that I wouldn’t have been able to do on my own.